Problems the Other Drugs of Avoidance

Yesterday, I told one of my students that people who get high, drunk or constantly move to other cities & states to escape a problem aren't doing themselves any favors because when they sober up and/or stop running the original problem is still there and it's brought ten of its friends with it.  The ten friends being the problems you created by being out of your head or running instead of facing the problem.  I've always prided myself on not avoiding problems.  An issue comes up and I meet it straight on, tits out (cause I don't have balls to "balls out") and I deal with the shit.  Even with the mountain of crap that's been coming at me over the past six months I haven't backed down.  Don't get me wrong, there have been a few times when I've broken down and cried and felt like I just couldn't take one more thing going wrong but I shook it off, readjusted the boobage and said, "bring it on bitch."  

Until today I thought I was doing pretty good.  Then I discovered that I'd been facing every problem and issue except the first one in the string of problems.  

I don't want to go into too much detail but it's enough to say that someone decided to show up after being gone since December and for these past months I've managed to put the hurt and loss of this person's presence deep in the back of my mind and heart.  My financial problems took precedence and when I felt I'd exhausted every angle I'd pull out the career problems and look at them for awhile.  It was working pretty well until the emotional problem (the person who disappeared) showed up today.  

Now, I realize that I've been using my other problems like alcohol and drugs to avoid the emotional situation.  I never cried and in fact, convinced myself that I wasn't surprised or hurt.  The person has done this before --disappeared with no rhyme or reason--I knew it would happen at some point so no shock there. I was wrong, it did surprise and hurt me but so much else happened in quick succession that I didn't have time to think about my hurt and it was easy to push it aside in favor of more pressing matters.  

So, here it is the pain, disappointment and anger.  I've cried and I'll probably cry a few more times but I'm dealing with it and the sooner you deal with it the sooner it goes away.  It's also got me to thinking that maybe if I'd dealt with it when it first happened then maybe everything else might not have been as hard to deal with it.  Like this emotional pain has been making the financial and career stress/pain feel more intense because I was lacking balance in too many areas of my life.  So, hopefully, things are going to turn around now or at least, stop sucking as much.  

And next time I get my heart hurt I'm going to deal with it instead of using other problems as avoidance drugs.