Vision Quest

I’m not someone who asks for signs very often because I don’t think that signs are given that easily.  I feel like signs usually come when you’re not asking or even looking for them.  So when these signs show up I have to take action.    

Last year was a terrible year and I’ve been hiding out for the past several months not wanting to really look at my future or make long term plans because most of them fell apart before I could even start them.    

So a few weeks ago my new supervisor (my previous supervisor was offered a better position in another city and state) asked me, “What do you want to do?”  At first, I didn’t understand what he was asking me but then he clarified and I was put on the spot. 

I talked about my situation a little (I don’t know him well enough to tell him the details) and he offered encouragement. 

His question made me think. 

I’ve never been one to not have a project or a goal of some sort.  I’ve always been doing something to improve my mind, body, and life.  The previous year kept me from doing that and quite frankly I’m tired of it.  I like to be moving and doing but I’ve been so paralyzed by the fear of disappointment and having to cancel my plans that I’d given up on goals.  So, asking me, “What do you want to do” had me stymied. 

 

After we talked about a few options –including getting a degree in Clinical Mental Health to be a counselor—I went back to my office to think about our discussion on my own.  I examined some of the ideas I’d had about my future trying to decide if I really wanted to change my course and try a new one or continue on my journey.  Did I really want to be a counselor or was I just looking for something to do?  Or was I burnt out on this road and needed to explore new paths?    I wasn’t sure. 

The next day I went to a one day conference and got my second sign.  The first session I went to was about making your dreams a reality.  The speaker a woman named Elaine Penn was amazing.  She gave some great tips on how to set about reaching our aspirations.

During the workshop she had us to an exercise.  We closed our eyes, took a few deep breaths, and cleared our minds.  We were then told to imagine ourselves standing at the edge of a hill and looking down towards a gate.  We started walking towards the gate and when we got to it we tried to latch and it opened.  We stepped in and on the other side of the gate was what we envisioned for ourselves.  We sat for what seemed liked several minutes just seeing everything we wanted happening.

Maybe not NY Times but still best-selling

I saw myself being a published writer, doing readings and signing autographs.  I saw myself with a PhD.  I saw myself as a keynote speaker at events.

When I opened my eyes I realized that I still want to be a writer, I still want my PhD in English/Writing.  I still want the same dream I’ve had since I was ten years-old.

The course I’m on is still the one I want to be on.  I just needed to be reminded and re-energized.  I needed tips and tools to help me find my way out of the rocky over grown parts of the road to the smoother better paved parts.

My Vision Board

One of the things I’m supposed to do is a vision board.  You put quotes and images that remind you of your goals.  Then you’re supposed to look at it every day to remind yourself of your quest.

Then you start an outline of things you can do to make you vision come true.  You should start with, at least, ten things and you can add to those as they come to.  So, far I only have 7.

1. Start writing on blog regularly
2. Find out about teaching adjunct
3. Research doctorate programs
4. Start working on the essay Jerry (mentor) wanted me to turn into a book a year ago
5. Start entering writing contests and submitting to literary journals
6. Surround myself with supportive people
7. Try to create a writing group

There were a lot of other things you should do but those are the two things I’ve done so far.  I'm feeling pretty optimistic at the moment.