My Hetro-Life Mate, CORN!

I don’t have a lot of close friends.  Don’t get me wrong I have friends but I only trust a few with my deep dark secrets and the passwords to my bank accounts, haha.  My closest friend, the one I trust with everything is my friend Corn.  Corn isn’t her real name but hey I’m trying to protect her “innocence” and if she’s reading this she’s probably laughing way to hard at being called Corn.

Corn is one of the many stupid and nonsensical jokes that we share.  It had something to do with exchanging a ride to the store for a roll of paper towels.  I made the comment that next we’d be trading corn for services.  It was random and silly and we laughed way too long and hard about something that makes sense to no one but us.

We call each other our hetro-life mates.  It started when I drove her to her kid’s Meet the Teacher Night.  The teacher asked who I was and being in a smart-ass mood I said I was Corn’s hetro-life mate.  Corn wanted to kill me and the teacher just looked confused.  Anyway, the phrase has become so common that even her husband will use it, “This is my wife and her hetro-life mate, Weesha.”

And that’s the thing about our friendship, it’s partially based off of random comments and jokes that only we seem to understand.  It’s also base off of non-judgment and understanding.  She knows where all the bodies are buried and she has never judged me on the uncountable mistakes and fuck ups I’ve made.  And I do some incredibly stupid things knowing full well they’re stupid.  And she always watches and waits to catch me when I inevitably fall.  She’s the one person in my life who understands and accepts that I have to live my life on my terms even if they aren’t the same terms she chooses to live by. 

Corn is my hetro-life mate.  She’s that special person I love more than others and I’m always grateful to her friendship.