The Command to Smile

I hate when people come up to me and say, “Smile” in that sickly sweet voice.  I’ve gotten to the point where I ask them, “Why?”  Most of the time they stammer, eyes shifting looking for the answer then finally say, “Because you look unhappy.  Like you’re concentrating so hard.  You’re so serious.”  This annoys me for many different reasons. 

Now just because I’m not smiling doesn’t mean I’m unhappy.  Most “happy” people don’t smile 100% of the time and if you are smiling all the time, I, for one, am going to wonder what the fuck is wrong with you.      

Also, if I’m, “concentrating so hard” nine times out of ten if I look like I’m “concentrating so hard” I probably am concentrating and distracting me with, “smile” is aggravating and will probably lead to me to scowling.  I mean seriously.  Speaking of serious…if serious means not smiling then by definitions smiling must mean flippancy, based on this I’d rather frown all the time.  So, if you command me to smile while I’m busy then I probably will end up in a bad mood.    

Really I think the command, “smile” is something ground into our society by customer service related industries.  Having worked for several telemarketing agency, I can attest to this.  Management was constantly droning on about smiling, saying stupid things like, “Smile while you dial,” “Customers can hear the smile on your face.”  Honestly, working as a telemarketer is nothing to smile about.  It’s probably one of the worst jobs around because even though you’re under constant abuse you’re expected to smile the whole time.  So maybe that’s why I don’t smile unless I want to.   

The truth is I smile a lot.  I smirk and even laugh when I read or hear a great joke.  I grin when I hear my friend Chris sing or pick a tune on his guitar.  I beam when I’m with friends and family.  I smile when one of my cats curls up next to me and purrs or meows.  Given all the smiling I do I don’t think I need to smile on command just to prove to them that I’m not in a bad mood. 

Facades

So, today in my American Literature class we were discussing article over Mary McCarthy’s The Company She Keeps.  One of the articles discussed the consumerist aspect of the book.  As many literature classes go, especially at the Graduate level we went off on a tangent.  Our professor is also teaching another class where they’re talking about The Wizard of Oz.  She said that while preparing for our class she started thinking about the “Oz” class and made connection.  To paraphrase, she said, “People, especially Americans are really occupied with façade.”    

This got me to thinking about why are we so concerned with façades?  It’d be easy to blame the media.  Magazines, television and the internet constantly bombard us with images of what we should wear, think and own in order to be accepted.  If we have all this stuff then we’re a success.  However, it can’t all fall on the media.  I mean we buy into it don’t we?  We sit and blame the media for making us dislike who we are but we sit in designer coffee shops drinking from our eco-friendly coffee cups because that’s what Bohemian intellectuals are suppose to do.  Even as we’re rallying against façades we buy into them. 

Why do we buy into them?  Because like it or not we want to be accepted.  I’m not saying it’s bad to want to be accepted but it shouldn’t cost you your individuality.  However, before you can really be accepted you have to figure out what you really believe.  Do you drink the coffee because you genuinely like it or is it because everyone else likes it?  Do you really care about the environment or is it just because you’re being pressured?  Once you figure who you are you’ll gain an inner confidence that will cause people to accept you even if you don’t always agree with each other.  Those are the real friendships you want, not the ones where everyone feels the same way.  Personally, I’m a moderate Liberal.  I prefer a local coffee shop to the franchise here in town and I do care about the environment.  My friends accept it just like accept that some of them are conservatives, only drink coffee they brew at home and don’t care to recycle.

The Infamous Chris Edwards

This is my friend Chris.  I took this picture last June at one of his gigs.  He’s an awesome Americana/Folk musician.  He likes to say he’s just a songwriter who can pick a tune on a guitar.  He doesn’t give himself enough credit. 

When Chris speaks his words come out in a long, low whisper tinged with a Texas accent.  I’ve never heard him raise his voice even when he’s pissed.  Some people don’t think he ever really gets pissed off but he does.  It just takes a lot for him to get there.  I think his philosophy is, “Anything worth saying is worth taking the time to say.”  Too many people in this world don’t take the time to really think and feel before they speak.  They speak too quickly and end up spending more time trying to correct their mistakes.

Chris is my BFF, a term he hates but I love to sling it out at him every once in a while.  He thinks it’s a term in need of mocking.  It doesn’t annoy me half as much as him but I do give it a good jab from time to time.  I love all my friends but sometimes he’s the only one I feel completely comfortable saying anything and everything to without him taking offense, becoming defensive or passing judgment.  That’s not to say that if I’m being a bitch to him he doesn’t say anything but he usually wrinkles his brow, thinks about his retort, says it and moves on.  He doesn’t hold grudges, taking it out like a water globe, shaking it, looking through the glass, examining every inch, taking account of every fake snowflake.  He just says what he has to say and moves on.  I think that’s fucking awesome and I wish I was more like that. 

We have a lot of shared interests, pets especially cats, Literature, we’re both Grad students in English, and political views, we’re both Liberals, although I think he’s much more liberal than I am.  We have our differences.  Chris dislikes a lot of technology, up until about a year ago he refused to get on Facebook.  He finally did and the Internet is slowly winning him over, he even has a website to promote his music http://www.chrismedwards.com/.  I doubt he’ll ever become a computer geek.  He also doesn’t watch a lot of television or movies.  I’m the opposite.  I watch a lot of video.  Chris says I’m more visually orientated and he’s more sound orientated.  I think it comes out in our writing styles.  We’re both writers of sorts.  He mainly writes lyrics and poetry while I write nonfiction and sometimes fiction.  Chris says I’m a really good poet.  I disagree. 

Being Hemingway

I just finished reading The Sun Also Rises and like many before me I’ve decided that I want to be Hemingway.  Right after that cliché realization I had the even more cliché realization that I probably never will be.  To paraphrase one of my professors, “Writers want to be Hemingway and they try and usually fail but they take away from Hemingway the ability to recognize and see how he succeeds and where they fail.”  And before anyone takes her remark the wrong way I feel I must defend her.  I may never be able turn a phrase, reveal just 1/8 of the iceberg or repeat the same words and phrase without it reading strange but I can see that it is possible and gives me as well as other writers something to strive for.   

****This was actually written about 2 weeks ago in anticipation of getting my Blog up and running****