Weesha's World: October 2011

Being Enough

When I was a kid I use to wish that my skin was whiter. I had watched Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and I was hung up on that one line in the movie, "and skin as white as snow." To be "white as snow" meant I was a good, beautiful, kind person. So, I wished and prayed to be whiter. To help me along in my quest to be whiter, I turned my back on my heritage. It wasn't too difficult considering that a lot of children and adults treated me and my white mother differently. My father was Mexican American and my mother was Anglo or white American. I already looked a lot like my mother but my skin was a shade darker than hers and a shade lighter than my father. I was in the middle. In the summer my skin would brown while my mother's would turn lobster red. I wanted red lobster skin. I figured if I was lighter then I'd be Snow White and even if the Mexican American children didn't want me someone else would.

Not All Mexican Food is the Same

So, as I may have mentioned before I work for a university. I work in the Diversity department. I've been there for about five years now. I've learned that although everyone thinks their department on a college campus is the hardest to work for it really isn't, mine is probably the hardest.  It's not the work, or the students, the students are great, even when they're not being great.  It's the preconceived ideas and assumptions that others have our our department. They like to pigeon hole us, stereotype us as the "Minority" department.  It's true that most of the students who frequent our office are either African American or Latino. However, if anyone actually took the time to hang out with us and our students they're realize that we are anything but stereo-types.

What bothers me more than being stereo-typed is that people who are suppose to be supporting change and diversity only do it lip service and really don't take it into their hearts and minds. The word, "diversity" in our school's mission statement, is just that a word. There's not real meaning to it or any real drive other than a superficial attempt at promoting. "Look we have a Diversity Department. That makes us diverse." Except, that the only diverse people are the staff and students who live and work in our department.

So, it's a never ending uphill battle. This brings me to an incident that happened yesterday at a staff lunch. After telling a few friends I've been trying to let it go but this is one of those things that I can't get out from under my skin as easily as I'd like.

In my office we have a coordinator and an assistant coordinator and me the office assistant. Our coordinator is African American, the assistant coordinator is Latina and I'm half white and half Latina.  We're pretty diverse ourselves.

Yesterday was a staff lunch for all the departments on our floor at a Mexican restaurant. I got there on time but the assistant coordinator was on a conference call so she was going to come late. While there I received a text message from her asking about the menu. She wanted me to order for her.  I looked around and called down the table to everyone else asking if they still had their menus. The person next me asked why and I relayed the message.  The person then said, "Tell her it's Mexican food." I replied, that I realized that but there were a lot of different choice. The person then said, "Well, it's all the same anyway." "No, it's not," I said. "Well, it's all the same ingredients mixed differently. Just rice and beans," the person said.

My reply to this was simply, "You know if I told her that I'm pretty sure she'd be offended considering she is Mexican American. I know, at least, my Mexican American side is offended right now."

Everyone gave each other looks, as if asking what they should say or do next which really pissed me off all the more.  The right thing to have said next was, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to be offensive. You're right." Instead, they seemed to be waiting for me to say, "just kidding" or laugh and I didn't.

Luckily, our "it's all the same" food came and everyone started eating and talking about.

I realize there are always going to be people who have their prejudice but I would hope that they would be working in fields that are suppose to be supporting and educating students on topics relating to diversity. True the other departments on my floor aren't charged with the task of educating on diversity but they are suppose to be supportive of our efforts, just as we are suppose to be supportive of them.  After all, our joint task is suppose to be creating strong, accepting leaders who now that not all Mexican food is the same.

Lines from the Night

We ate, we laughed and said some crazy stuff. Lines from the night....

"Pussy's the same no matter where you're at."

"Did it in a drainage pipe."

"With a mirror!"

"Seventh game in the World Series on home base."

"Give me 10 Hail Mary's"

"You got your balls and dick right there."

Question to a guy, "What celebrity would you sleep with?"
Answer, "Leonard Decaprio"
"No, he's a duded. You need a chick."
Response, "He is a chick."

"I think I'm a closet lesbian."

Soul Mates

Lately, I've been thinking about soul mates.

When I was younger I use to think that there was only one person, who was a perfect fit, for each of us. And like so many before me I wondered about widows who found love after their spouse died. Did it mean their first spouse wasn't the one?

As I got older, got a few relationships/break-ups under my belt, I became bittered and started to believe that there was no such thing as a soul mate.

Then I met someone, I truly love and loves me back but for various reasons we've just never been able to sustain a real relationships.

Based on that relationship, I canged my mind and decided that soul mates do exist. However, just because you're soul mates doesn't mean you can or should live together.

But, today as I was sitting on my bed listening to an audio book and knitting a sock I looked over at my cat, Shadow curled up sleeping a few inches away from me. As I watched him sleep, I realized that my soul mate is my cat.