Dream

This morning I woke up from a good dream.  It was one of those dreams that you really want to stay in and even as you're being pulled into waking hours you fight to stay in by continuing to feed your dream self suggestions on what to do next.

I dreamed that I was living in an apartment across from a professor who I'd once had a crush on.  He was living in an apartment building across the street from mine.  In fact, we could walk out of our respective apartments and see each other.

In the dream, I was leaving my place with my dog, Midgie which is odd because Midgie died nearly ten years ago and never lived in this town with me.  I saw the professor come out of his apartment as I was getting into my convertible with my dog.  I don't have a convertible.  He got into his car and began to follow us as we drove down the street to a local diner.  I could see him in my rear view mirror following behind me.  Smiling at my hair fluttering behind me, the sun on my skin.  I felt confident, beautiful and sexy.  I never feel that when I'm awake.    

The front section of the restaurant was a diner full of people.  I weaved my way towards the back to the coffee house section of the restaurant.  The professor showed up as I was getting ready to pay for my coffee and insisted on paying for it.  We walked out the back door to a sitting area and talked for a few minutes before decided to walk through an open market which looked like the market square in San Antonio.

As we were walking hand in hand, looking through the stall and kiosks, we made plans to meet up after my four o'clock class.  He hugged me and kissed my head.  I flushed and hugged him.  Suddenly, I spotted my ex-boss and I let go of my professor pushing him from me.  As we walked past my ex-boss and his group I quietly explained that I didn't want them to know who I was seeing.  I don't know why I didn't want them to know but at the time I was afraid of the company people knowing.  

Somehow, we ended up getting separated and I couldn't find him.  I tried to call him but my phone refused to work.  Every time I touched the contacts or phone icons the screen would burst with picture of flowers blooming.  The petals would spin and open,.  The petals' edges were trimmed with tiny lights that matched the blooms.  It was beautiful but I was too frustrated to care.  

I, absently, wandered into a mall with an atrium full of flowers and waterfalls.  The place was beautiful and I wished I could find the professor.  I wanted to hold his hand again and look at the flowers and waterfalls.  I wished I hadn't let him. 

I finally gave up trying to find him and hoped he wasn't too hurt to pick me up for dinner.  I headed to class.  The class was being held in the old math wing of my high school.  I don't remember the class but when I walked out the professor was standing there with flowers that matched the ones that had been on my phone.  I cried because I was sure he wouldn't want to see me.  He held me and I started to babble an explanation as to why I was crying.

Before, I could finish my explanation I started to wake up and my dream world started to fade.  I wish I hadn't woken up.

I don't know the significance of the dream.  I usually don't write dreams down but this one seems important.  I'm not sure why but there you have it.  Anyone else have some ideas of what it all means?

Repost-Yes Virginia

I know I posted this last year but I wanted to re-post it.  I hope it reaffirms your faith, hope, and love in all things. 
  
"Dear Editor--I am eight years old. "Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. "Papa says, 'If you see it in The Sun, it's so.' "Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?
Virginia O'Hanlon 115 W. 95th Street

Virginia, your little friends are wrong.  They have been affected by the scepticism of a sceptical age.  They do not believe except they see.  They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds.  All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's are little.  In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.  He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy.  Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus!  It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias.  There would be no child-like faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence.  We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight.  The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus!  You might as well not believe in fairies!  You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove?  Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus.  The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see.  Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn?  Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there.  Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart.  Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond.  Is it all real?  Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus!  Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever.  A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

Abby

Abby sitting on the couch (2000)

I've had Abby since 2000.  She was a stray that moved in with me one Spring day.  I say moved in because that's really what she did.  I first saw her lurking about the apartment complex where I lived with Shadow.  This big dark brown blackish puff ball with big green eyes would sit on railings watching the parking lot and the people coming and going.  I didn't think much of her and didn't even know she was a her until she moved in.

At the same time that she was hanging out in the complex there was a little gray cat that I was trying to catch.  I put a box, food and water outside my door hoping to entice the gray cat.  Problem was it was being courted by another apartment dweller and I only managed to catch a brown blackish puff ball.

curled up with orange mouse (2010)

The first time I saw Abby in the box she was curled up sleeping.  I'd come home from classes.  As I rounded the corner from my stairwell I could see a mound of dark fur and I knew exactly who it was.  I walked up, leaned down, ran my hand over the fur and went inside.  I figured the best approach wasn't to "ooh and aah" but to be nonchalant.

Now I've been blessed or cursed, depending on how you look at it, with a cat that is afraid of the outside world.  Shadow is perfectly content to spend his life in a climate controlled dwelling watching from open windows and doors what the outside world is doing.  So, one Spring day I left the door open for him to watch as the world passed by.  I was sitting at my desk working on a paper when I heard a car door slam and out of the corner of my eye I saw a streak of black run past down the hall to the bedroom.  I figured the sound of the car had scared him.

I went to check on him and found him sitting on my pillow and Abby curled up on my bed.  She lifted her big green bug eyes to me, meowed once and I responded.  "Well, you're here now.  I guess you live with us."   

sitting on the bed (2009)

Abby was about three or four years older than Shadow when she came to live with us making her about sixteen or seventeen years old.  According to a book I just read the ratio of cat years to human years is 4:1.  So in human years Abby is sixty-four/sixty-five years old and she is every bit of her age.

A four summers ago she caught a pretty bad virus which included me having to administer saline injections to rehydrate her.  It was scary but I did it and she bounced back in a week.

Two weeks ago I noticed that she was very sick again.  She wasn't eating and drinking very little.  She was extremely congested, listless, and plain miserable.  So I took her to the vet.  She'd caught another virus and lost a pound which meant the administration of more meds. and saline injections.  After two days she got her spark back but it's a different kind of spark.  When once she wanted only to sit near me she is now sitting on my lap all the time.  At night she sleeps on me rather than next to me.  And she no longer minds being carried from one room to another.    

Bug eyes (2011)

I've also discovered that she can no longer eat her canned cat food as is.  I knew that she was no longer eating dry food as it was too hard on her gums and teeth but now even the canned stuff seemed to be giving her some trouble.  Experimenting, I pureed a can and let her try it.  She licked it up instantly.  So, now she gets pureed cat food.

As I sat watching her eat her food, stopping every few moments to look up at me with her cat food covered face I found myself laughing and holding back the tears as I thought, "Are we here already?"  How much time do we have? Do I have before I have to say good-bye? 

sleeping beauty (2012)

I'm not ready to let her go and I'm going to do my damnedest to keep her happy, healthy, and here.  But when it is time I will have no doubts that I've provided a good home and a happy life.  In return she's given me more love and devotion I could ever expect and deserve.  Because that's the way love is suppose to be.