Part Two: A Beverage Review by Josh

So, Josh did an update to his Beverage Review which turned out to be perfect for me because I've been to preoccupied to really think of something to blog.  I promise I will get back on the ball and write my own blog but for the time being here is Part Two of Lap It Up.  

Wolf's Den Presents...

Lap It Up-  A Drink Guide to Thirst Quenching Soda, Sports Drinks, Tea, & Others.

Drink 9 -- Gatorade Series 02-Perform: Lemon Lime
Container: Plastic

Cool and tart but not so much that I'd expect to drink it and hear a little kid say “That'll be 1 dollar”, as if I'm drinking lemonade from a kids stand. Though Lemon Lime is a Gatorade product, to me it does seem a lot like lemonade, just with that “I'm cooling off after a workout.” feel. I've said it before and I'll say it each time, a Gatorade that doesn't leave me wanting to drink a big glass of cold water is the BEST kind of Gatorade. Lemon Lime doesn't make me want that, it makes me want sugar cookies or a PBJ while laying in a hammock. Actually to be very honest it makes me want to go and get another Lemon Lime Gatorade, not bad... not bad at all.

Grade 6 ½

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Drink 10 -- Lipton Pureleaf Ice Tea (Sweetened)
Container: Glass

I'm not a tea connoisseur, but I do make my own tea. Saying that I mean to say I use tea bags in hot water kettles and add my own sugar to the finished product while adding water. I prefer cold ice tea, but a good hot tea with milk and sugar or even honey is nice. Let it also be said that I prefer lipton tea to several other local varieties. I don't get too fancy, but for everyday Texas weather and just every day enjoyment I prefer Lipton. So it may come as a surprise to many that I don't give this particular drink a high grade. 'Why?' you ask? When you boil tea in a kettle there is a moment where the kettle whistles at you, just like the old timey way kettles are supposed to. It means the tea is done. Now before I had a kettle I used a pot, and being a young man who didn't pay much attention to things for long I'd let the water boil for some time. When you over cook, as I'll call it, tea... it becomes slightly sour and looses that smoothness to it's taste. I taste this sometimes when I get tea at a restaurant, they just didn't do it right, but for me to feel this way about a bottled drink from the company that I get my own tea from... it's very disappointing. Now to be honest, I could try another bottle at some later date and perhaps it will taste wonderful? Could have been the ominous 'bad batch', but when the processes of filling a glass bottle or any bottle is most likely automated... I don't have high hopes.

Grade 2

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Drink 11 -- Gatorade Series 02-Perform: A.M. Orange-Strawberry
Container: Plastic

I've made smoothies before, and I've made some fruit drinks with my trusty blender and obviously fresh fruit is going to be vastly superior to bottled sports drinks, but to be very honest I really like the orange strawberry. I can even understand the use of A.M. On the label. It is like having a morning cup of orange juice yet without the citrus tang or the pulp. It's not just orange juice it's strawberry, but it's also very cool and watery, and not in a really bad way. It does leave a slight aftertaste but I can see myself pouring a glass just during breakfast. It's no substitute for a good old fashioned orange juice, but I'm gonna have to give A.M. Orange-Strawberry a above average grade.

Grade 6

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Drink 12 -- Calypso: Ocean Blue Lemonade
Container: Glass

Lemonade mixed with blackberries. That's pretty much what I'm getting out of this. I'm down the with lemonade, I'm down with the sweet blackberry flavor, at least that's what it tastes like to me, but I'm not really all that sure how it has anything to do with the title "Ocean Blue". That's one thing I never understood about lemonade, why drink it on hot days where the sun scorches and burns? I mean... lemonade dries out your mouth with the sourness, though it is fresh and hopefully cold. It's like getting slapped out of sleep when you have to be awake to cut the blue wire... or was it the red? Lemonade has always been that "I do this to myself because I love it." Kind of drink for me. We love it's sourness, we love it's sweetness... like a domestic violence dispute with no casualties. All the blackberry does it makes it less violent. It's tart where it needs to be, but the sweet doesn't mix right with the tart... it's like there's a berry barrier between the two. So the Blackberry is the young child, puppy dog eyes, pleading for the two to stop fighting? I know how down this makes Lemonade seem, but lemonade isn't simple or plain. You drink it for the violence or it, you drink it for the tart and sweet. I say for those who can't take a good twitching when you drink your lemonade, and you want something a little smoother without feeling like you're cheating... well you know what I mean... try Ocean Blue. You won't have to call the cops, I promise.

Grade 5

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Drink 13 -- Big Red: Vanilla Float
Container: Plastic

Big Red's always been a kids drink to me, cause it always reminds me of my childhood. I didn't drink it as much as you'd expect for such a memory, but I always remember Big Red and swimming at the lake. So when I smell Big Red, I always think I'm gonna smell suntan lotion and feel sand under my feet. Murky water and splashing. The difference here is the 'vanilla float' part. I'm trying to look at this objectively, separating the memories of 'Big Red' vs 'Vanilla Float', because to me this just tastes like someone dumbed down the Big Red bite with some vanilla. The taste isn't as much unpleasant as it is unwelcome. Honestly I bet if I dropped Big Red Onto a scoop of vanilla ice cream, it wouldn't taste as super sweet yet also in a way bland. The aftertaste was just left the sickly sweet flavor in my mouth until I could wash it out with something else, which was a bottle of water. I'm gonna say I'm just not big on the sugar fest that is Big Red's Vanilla Float, so I won't bottom grade it, perhaps there are other people out there who just love a good sugar fix. Like Crack Heads.

Grade 2

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Drink 14 -- Powerade ION4: Grape
Container: Plastic

It's a grape flavored watery sports drink. It's fresh when cold, no bad aftertaste that lasts too long. I thought it was very watery at first, but after drinking a bit the grape just started popping out like little leprechauns. Suddenly it was cool grape time and I'd take another sip. I've mentioned my love of a grapes, but honestly there wasn't much to write home about for Powerade, I'd honestly have to sit Gatorade vs Powerade Grape and see which one tastes better. I'd say Powerade seemed more crisp for a power drink, but normal Gatorades are big on the taste but most times slightly sour. Powerade Grape didn't have that, but as drinks go it's just average.

Grade 5

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Drink 15 -- Fuze: Mixed Berry
Container: Plastic

My last dance with a 'mixed berry' drink did not go well as you might recall. Fuze on the other hand has always had a bit of a good rep when it comes to some of it's drinks. Now this rep is unwritten as I really only have tried to strawberry or pina colada versions. This will be an interesting mix up for me. The little label that reads "I'm new!" makes me wonder just how fruity this is gonna be. So it's tart, from the vine grapes I see on the cover I'd wager, and you can taste the strawberry for sure, but that tartness wasn't something I was expecting. What's weird is the tartness only hits AFTER you've taken a gulp. it's cool and sweet going down pass the tongue but the sour hits and you do that twitch and pucker. It's not very tart mind you, not like some lemonades I've had, no sucking on lemons for me. Yet there is a tartness I'm not interested in. The tart reminds me of the grapes my mom used to grow on the property. She had a small grape arbor and she grew some sour grapes that you pealed and there were many seeds in them but they were sweet and also tart, left your mouth twinging but it was good. I know people are saying "Josh... grape juice is tart. What are you bitching about?" I like grape, the flavor, I'm not much for the tart grape fruit drinks, but more the unseeded grapes red or green.
 
Grade: 3

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Drink 16 -- Brisk: Sweet Tea
Container: Plastic

Ok, Tea should not taste like it came from a plastic container filled with powder. Don't get me wrong, powdered drinks have their place. They are the sustaining force in a luke warm cold water home bound world. Koolaid, lemonade, tea... powdered drinks have their place. This place is NOT in the bottled drink section of the gas station. If I wanted this dry flavor in my mouth I'd have mixed my drink better. The only saving grace is that Brisk made a NON LEMON tea version, which is the reason for my purchasing this beverage. As a drink it's fine, it's just not anything special.

Grade 4